Now that Spring is almost here, I thought I'd better share my scary shopping experience from back in January, before it becomes completely out of date.
Here's the thing: I'm afraid of tribbles. As a young child I had recurring nightmares about them, and even today, unexpectedly catching sight of one of those round balls of fluff creates a jolt of dread. I have no idea why it was tribbles - there were plenty of other Star Trek monsters, like the killer ravioli or the planet-eating carrot creature (our TV was black and white), that could have inhabited my worst dreams, but then who can tell how the human mind works...
Here's the thing: I'm afraid of tribbles. As a young child I had recurring nightmares about them, and even today, unexpectedly catching sight of one of those round balls of fluff creates a jolt of dread. I have no idea why it was tribbles - there were plenty of other Star Trek monsters, like the killer ravioli or the planet-eating carrot creature (our TV was black and white), that could have inhabited my worst dreams, but then who can tell how the human mind works...
Furry 'tribble' hats on a shelf
For the past couple of years, there's been a fashion for furry hats that resemble tribbles. These are a little taller, but they're close enough to worry me if I come across them without any warning.
However, when I thought I'd have a look in the accessories department of a department store back in January, it was as if one of those nightmares had come alive!
Can't Ugg be satisfied with just hideous boots?
This was the first little horror that crept up on me. Just as in the nightmares, I found a tribble where I wouldn't expect it, sitting there innocently as if it wasn't plotting the downfall of civilisation...
Hiding among some harmless scarves
I moved swiftly on, then looked round to see where the scarf section might be. Unfortunately I had gone the wrong way.
How the tribbles used to lurk under a chair
In my nightmares, the second or third tribble would be under a chair. So, having made it to the scarf and glove section, I let out a gasp of horror when I glanced down to see this.
(Yes, I realise it's probably just a harmless scarf, but by now I was truly on edge.)
Hanging in wait
My nightmares would usually come to a chilling climax on discovering they had got everywhere - on the walls and ceilings, on tables and window sills - there would be no escape.
So imagine how my breath was taken by the cold horror that clenched round my heart when I looked up and saw this hovering above me. It took a while to recover sufficiently to take this picture...